Self Limiting Beliefs

Self Limiting Beliefs: Statements we believe to be true about ourselves & the world that ultimately stop us from having what we deserve and/or want.

We usually pick them up throughout childhood either because they were directly told to us, or we observed it happening in another person. As adults, we might again be told what is true and not true about ourselves and the world, or we look at social media, pop culture, “society” and create self- limiting beliefs to make sense of it all.

Today, I was following a gratitude meditation and reflecting on how far I’ve come. I remember the moment that my path began to shift and re-align for me.

For many years, I told myself I couldn’t have the life I want until ____________. The blank was filled with thoughts like “until I am fully licensed & in- network with insurances, until I save enough money to take a leap, until I was in another relationship”. One day, I thought to myself….

What if none of that is true? What if I can have the life I want right now?

Does that mean it just shows up….? I could not think of how exactly one gets it all. Then I realized, I do not have to know the how

I decided that all I would do is stop the self-limiting belief systems that were holding me back. I changed my thought process immediately into “I can have the life I want right now, there is nothing in my way”. When my self- limiting beliefs continued to popped up, I consciously practiced shifting my narrative.

Then I started dreaming of what that life would feel like, look like.

Then I started noticing people & situations who proved me “right”. Who had the things I wanted without achieving all of the things I previously thought I had to have first. I let them inspire me.

Slowly, but surely, the manifestation opportunities presented themselves. Maybe they were always there and I couldn’t see them before. Either way, everything started to come together. All I had to do was say Yes.

Saying Yes was another hard part.

The underlying reasons for the self-limiting beliefs began to show themselves, reasons such as fear & self esteem. Acknowledging and overcoming these reasons meant a lot of journaling, soul searching, and mentorship.

The journey wasn’t perfect. Many, many mistakes were made. However, I think back to the mistakes and understand they came from fear-based decision making, or moments where I let my old self-limiting belief system call the shots.

For example, (without disclosing too much), I initially started my business with a business partner who was very misaligned with my vision and personality. Mostly out of fear of stepping out on my own. Untangling this resulted in difficult conversations, hurt feelings, and unfortunately severed relationships. In the midst of all that drama, I kept coming back to my earlier concept that- I can have the life I want right now and there’s nothing in my way. I started communicating assertively, and within weeks everything unraveled back into the way it was meant to be.

Bumps in the road that I would attribute to reasons out of my control where usually my fault. Taking accountability for that, and checking in with my thought process always revealed that self-limiting beliefs were sneaking back into my consciousness and wreaking havoc.

Perhaps a good place to start is to think about the life you want. Then list out what you think its in between the life you want and the one you have. Then challenge yourself to be “wrong” about such things and begin to let the light of opportunity shine.

Find a therapist who can help you stay accountable and avoid slipping into old patterns. I recommend a therapist instead of a friend or family member in order to be more certain that another person’s self-limiting beliefs don’t contaminate you.

Today I realized that I used to believe I couldn’t even START to build what I have now for at least another 5 months. The amount of suffering that would have taken place in my old situation had I not challenged this is terrifying. I feel so much gratitude, like I avoided a terrible car crash. I would have added about 1.5 years of suffering to my life. With gratitude I look around and remember when everything around me right now was a just a fantasy that I didn’t think I could have.

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Kristen Brown